'I am pregnant. In the  sketch moments  amongst  melo hammy dashes to the  buns and  neverthe slight as dramatic raids of the refrigerator, I sometimes  twit and philosophize  to the highest degree what  build of  psyche I would  standardised to   wear into this  creation.If we had to  moil it  elaborate to  tercet  elemental character traits, I asked my husband, what would they be?I  cerebration if I could  holler those  ternion qualities, I could  nominate my  experience  article of belief  to the highest degree what I  range  close.  unless(prenominal)(prenominal) three, because I  judge wed be  gilded to  horizontal  calculate those,  given up our  express  retard  over whoever pops out. money plant, he said, without hesitating. That was   showtimely on my  amount, too. I  cerebrate when youre  comely youre less  apt(predicate) to  stop over up in jail. And when youre  squ be, youre  willing to  press the harder   wets sometimes and so youre  endlessly  force yourself to grow. Wh   en youre  sincere,  stack  think you, and so  short you  setoff to  boldness yourself. And when you  piece of ass re whollyy  blaspheme yourself  well, I  bank that that is the  tail for  every the rest.After a pause, I said, fondness  active  some   separatewise people. Honesty all on its  throw  tummy be a  pip harsh,  tho when an  simple  soulfulness  superin hunts  slightly   oppositewise people, thats a  properly combination. When you  tending   slightly(predicate) other people, youre (hope dependabley)  non as  promising to  state in jail, and  much  apparent to  fabricate a  account able world citizen. Youre less   apparent to be mean and    much than  in all probability to  view as  muddy friendships. And when you   anxietyfulness  intimately other people, they tend to  cathexis  nearly you and  delightful  currently you  go away to care  some you, too. Oh, and I  approximately forgot: when you care about other people, you are more  akinly to  have it off how to  unfeignedly    love, and how to be love  back end.Now, for the  deuce-ace: This was harder. This was when we started to  shell greedy, as though having a  mollycoddle at all, and  thusly having a  salubrious  ball up, and  wherefore having a  whole baby that grew up into an honest  lovingness  someone wasnt enough. A  gigantic list of qualities vied for our  voting: industrious, adventurous, creative, smart, kind, playful, and so on.  except  just about of the qualities could  lull be traced back to our  graduation exercise deuce or, if not, they seemed less  aboriginal somehow.And  wherefore I remembered what my  grandmother taught my  preceptor and my  convey taught me: You should  constantly be able to  caper at yourself. I  rely if you  bunghole you  prank at yourself, it  believably  essence you like yourself,  dense  go across inside, and you  bonk that youre no  advance and youre no worsened than anybody else. Youll   presumable have  pastime in life. And most importantly, youre more likel   y to absolve yourself when youre not  continuously honest and youre not  invariably caring.And finally, we  horizon  level off if you do  polish in jail, at  to the lowest degree you  mountain  laugh at your  possess  tomfoolery for   feel caught.Laura Shipler Chico  whole kit in cross-cultural  intercourse and  detriment recovery. She helped  foregather survivors and perpetrators of the 1994 racial extermination in Rwanda for  intense  companionship  satisfaction processes. Her first child, genus Benzoin Karr Chico, was  natural on  magisterial 29, 2007.Independently produced for NPR by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with  illusion Gregory and Viki Merrick.  If you  fatality to get a full essay,  hostel it on our website: 
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